Welcome To ToniRay Writes

 The other night, I found myself scrolling through my old blog posts — not really looking for anything, just reminiscing. I didn’t expect it to feel like medicine. As I read through my words, I realized something powerful: I needed those messages just as much now as I did when I first wrote them. There were lines about faith, healing, and trusting the process that hit differently this time. It was like my past self was reaching out, reminding me of truths I’ve somehow forgotten in the middle of life’s noise. I caught myself nodding and even whispering, “Girl, you said that!” — as if someone else had written it. It made me think about how often I pour encouragement into others through my writing, or just in general, telling them to hold on, to trust, to believe that better days are coming. But lately, I’ve had to ask myself: Do I believe those same words for me? “Be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” — James 1:22 That verse didn’t come to me as a ...

Tonight, the house feels quiet. I can hear the insects outside, the steady hum of the ceiling fan, and the faint drip of the ice maker—sounds I usually overlook. The silence seems to have a voice, yet my thoughts echo louder, asking questions I’m unsure I’m ready to face. Is this truly what I want? I recall the times I was told I’d end up alone if I didn’t change my attitude, and now I wonder if that’s happening. My children are nearly grown, and much of my life has revolved around serving others. Now that it’s truly quiet, I see how little I do for myself. I sit amidst the soft sounds of a house that once felt full but now feels empty. The silence reminds me that, for the first time in a long while, nothing and no one demands my attention—just me. And I’m uncertain about what to do with that. Nevertheless, even in this deep silence, I try to feel grateful. Maybe this marks the start of something new, even if it doesn’t seem like it yet. Perhaps this emptiness is creating space for my ...

  Happy Monday! This morning, I woke up with the same feelings from the night before, not knowing exactly why. I felt a bit overwhelmed, because I figured by now, these feelings should be gone. I soon realized what these emotions actually were: Emotional Residue — those lingering feelings that don’t disappear, even when life moves on. It’s funny, really… this residue is strong, real, and persistent. It almost made me circle back, almost made me reach out, even when I know deep down that sometimes the healthiest thing is to let it sit. At times, it felt almost as if this is intentionally being done to me. Yet here it is, reminding me of the connection, the closeness, and the moments that mattered. Almost every emotion felt tangible. Even though it’s tempting to act on it, I’ve realized that acknowledging it is enough. This emotional residue doesn’t need to control me. It’s a quiet, persistent reminder that I’ve loved deeply, felt fully, and lived honestly. I thank God He blessed...

I’d been meaning to have a talk with someone close to me, but I kept putting it off. Every attempt before had fallen flat, and deep down, I knew this conversation couldn’t wait forever. I just needed the right time, the right setting, and maybe — just maybe — the understanding I’d been hoping for. Bringing up the topic again was emotional for me. I was afraid it would lead to another disagreement, another wall being built, another day where my true feelings would go unheard. But this time, I approached the conversation differently. To my surprise, the response was nothing like I expected. The person listened — really listened — and even agreed with what I shared about where things stood between us. They said it would be selfish of them not to want me to grow. No harsh words were exchanged. No lines were crossed or words spoken that couldn’t be taken back. Instead, I was met with something I hadn’t experienced in a long time — a calm, understanding tone. A soft answer. One that caught m...

 This morning, I literally jumped out of my sleep reminding myself that I needed to water my plants and told myself not forget. No exceptions. I know that may seem crazy, to had been my first thought —but it felt necessary , almost urgent, like my spirit knew this small act mattered more than I realized. I rushed to my office, grabbed the watering can, and began pouring life into each plant. As the water flowed, I found myself talking to them softly. I told them I loved them, that they were growing beautifully, that I was proud of them for staying alive and pushing through. It may sound funny, but it felt sacred—like a moment of connection between me, nature, and something deeper. Then I noticed something. A few of my plants had outgrown their pots. Their roots were peeking through the bottom, and the soil had hardened. I realized it was time for them to be uprooted —to be placed in new soil where they could stretch, breathe, and grow freely again. That spoke to me. Because som...

 There are moments when doubt whispers louder than truth. It creeps in quietly, questioning everything you once felt certain about — your growth, your faith, your purpose, even your healing. But what if the doubt itself is the lie? What if the voice that tells you “you can’t” is only afraid that you finally will? This morning, I caught myself slipping into that space again — wondering if my blog will ever reach the goals I’ve set for it, if my book will be finished, if my dreams will ever unfold the way I imagine them. Will my stories become movies? Will I really get to work with the directors I dream about? Will my book one day be on the big screen like so many others? Those thoughts came after looking at my blog stats — numbers that made me question whether what I’m doing really matters. But then something shifted in me. I realized I could either sit in that doubt or doubt the doubt itself. I could choose to believe that just because I can’t see the full picture yet doesn’t mean ...

This piece is for my firstborn son. You were never my burden. You were my blessing in disguise — even when the world tried to make me believe otherwise. I’m proud of the man you are today. Intro: This is a small snippet from my upcoming book, I AM TONI, from the chapter titled 1997. At fourteen, I carried what felt like the heaviest burden of my life. Looking back now, I see it was also the beginning of strength, love, and purpose I never knew I had. Excerpt: My first pregnancy was one of the most difficult times in my life. Looking back, I was truly like a baby having a baby, as many would say. The heaviest weight I carried then felt like shame, though it would one day become the burden that shaped me. I was clearly made aware that being 14 and pregnant was considered one of the worst things a girl could do. As a parent of a 14-year-old daughter now, I would be upset with her, but I don’t think I could treat her the way I was treated at that time. I love my daughter deeply. I’m u...

This morning, during my walk, I caught myself drifting deep into thought. When I finally snapped out of it, I noticed something: everyone else around me was walking with someone, and I was walking alone. A few months ago, that realization would’ve felt heavy. I would’ve taken it as a negative sign and let my thoughts spiral until they ruined my whole day. But now, it makes sense. Where I am in life, I’m learning to see things differently. I’m the type of person who can strike up a conversation with a stranger sometimes, and other times, I just want to stay quiet and let people enjoy their own rhythm. By the time I hit mile two, I noticed a woman walking alone, wearing a weighted vest. I decided to ask her where she got it from, and that small question opened the door to a full conversation. She shared her life with me like we had been friends forever. I didn’t mind—I’ve been a listening ear for a lot of people in my life. I got a few words in here and there, but mostly, I just let her ...

  Happy Monday, For some of us, life can start in a rush—despite the plans we make the night before. We wake up thinking, It’s Monday already? Friday felt like a moment ago, when we left work excited for the weekend, only to turn around and do it all again. Last night I told myself I’d get up before everyone else, as I usually do. I even added a few details to my morning: finish my early walk, hit my three miles (because honestly, I’d fallen off and wasn’t letting myself slide), and write this blog post. But instead of rising early, I hit snooze—first mistake—and stayed up too late (pretending nighttime is free time). Then came the scramble: making sure my daughter was up and ready for school, running to the store for chips she wanted, rushing back so she wouldn’t miss the bus. She made it—just barely. Back home, I washed my face and brushed my teeth. Then I paused. Why am I rushing? I was moving like there was a deadline, as if my morning walk might disappear if I didn’t hur...

  Today, a dear friend reached out, and her message made me grin from ear to ear. She told me how much she’s been enjoying my blog posts and asked how she could access them regularly and how often I plan to share. That simple question gave me a little sense of urgency—in the best way—because she remembered that writing has always been my dream. Just knowing she sees it, believes in it, and is genuinely excited for me filled my heart with so much joy. It’s one thing to write for yourself, but hearing that someone you love is inspired by what you’re creating? That’s a whole different kind of encouragement. As iron sharpens iron, so one friend sharpens another (Proverbs 27:17). Her message reminded me how true that is—those words gave me fresh motivation to keep following the dream that’s been on my heart for so long. Thank you to everyone reading, sharing, or just quietly cheering me on. Your support means more than you know. P.S. I love you, Dana 💕 This one’s for you. When ...

My blog post yesterday made me feel as if maybe—just maybe—this might be the start of the “New Beginning” I’ve been dreaming of. The feedback I received was incredibly helpful. With my imaginative mind, I began to envision where I truly want to be in life—the places I’ll go and the people I’ll meet. I saw myself doing so many things—like being interviewed on a podcast, talking about my book, and sharing the obstacles I’ve overcome to reach where I am and where I’m headed. For me, this isn’t just a dream anymore. This is my future. Just that one post gave me hope. Thank you all for encouraging me to keep going. Your support gave me the drive to continue, no matter the outcome. That led me to wonder what comes next: What’s the best topic? What would intrigue people to want more? Then I reminded myself: quality and authenticity matter more than frequency. So I slowed my thoughts, took a deep breath, and decided not to rush into tomorrow’s topic—or too far into the future. I chose to simp...

  I woke up this morning wondering what I could accomplish instead of always feeling unaccomplished. I started to think if starting a blog would even make a difference in my life, I didn't know where or how to begin or what even to say.   I started to second guess this "big" decision, say forget it and scroll through Youtube and watch something crime related and let the day pass, and continue on this never ending cycle of mine. So, I got up from my bed for a second, because I felt the anxiety drawing near as if I was standing in-front of an audience, and I hadn't jotted one word. I began to just say forget it, you have too many problems or issues to even start anything, and that consumes your mind right now so just lay the hell back down. Then the intrusive thoughts really started rolling in: Your unemployed, at home, in your 40s, going through perimenopause marital issues, what would you have to say to the world that can have a positive domino effect starting right n...