Grief & Relief
Raise your hand ✋if you’ve ever felt several emotions at once. I know for sure that I have.
Today was a very emotional day for me, and I must be honest—at one point, I asked myself whether I could have made my day better. Looking back, I probably could have.
What stood out to me most was not just what happened, but how I felt. I found myself wondering how it was even possible to feel two very strong emotions at the same time.
Lately, the way my days have been going, I’ve felt like I needed to pick just one emotion—because feeling more than one at a time feels overwhelming right now. And while I know having multiple emotions is natural, that wasn’t really my struggle.
I was stuck on the fact that I was feeling good and bad at the same time.
I know some of you may be wondering what those two emotions were that tangled my thoughts—they were grief and relief.
The Cause
I’ve been married for sixteen years, and now I’m going through a divorce.
And somehow, that reality is making me feel both at once.
Two emotions I never imagined could coexist—one that brings deep sadness, and the other, a quiet sense of peace.
The grief comes from letting go of something I once believed would last forever.
The relief comes from no longer feeling stuck in a life I no longer see a future in.
For a moment, I thought something had to be wrong with me. How could I feel both at the same time? I wrestled with myself, thinking I needed to choose—decide how I should feel.
But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t.
Because both emotions stayed.
And neither one was willing to leave.
Understanding the Emotions
So I began another quiet journey within myself, breaking down each emotion, searching for an answer to whether both could live in the same space.
I started with grief.
Grief, to me, is more than just sadness. It’s the ache of losing something that once felt certain. It’s the weight of memories, the “what could have been,” and the quiet mourning of a version of life I once believed in. Grief doesn’t just come from death—it comes from endings, from change, from letting go.
Then I looked at relief.
Relief felt different. Lighter, but still complex. It was the release of pressure I didn’t fully realize I had been carrying. It was the ability to breathe a little deeper. It was the quiet acknowledgment that, even though something is ending, something else is being freed.
And that’s when it started to make sense.
Grief was tied to what I was losing.
Relief was tied to what I was gaining.
And somehow, both were true at once.
Where They Meet
And that’s when it became clear to me—they weren’t fighting each other.
They were connected.
Grief and relief, in my situation, were both rooted in the same place: an ending.
One was mourning what was.
The other was making room for what could be.
Grief allowed me to honor the love, the time, and the life I once believed would last forever.
Relief allowed me to accept that staying would have meant losing myself.
And somewhere between those two emotions… I found truth.
That sometimes, for something new to begin, something else must end.
As painful as it is to admit, my grief is evidence that it mattered.
And my relief is evidence that I’m ready for something different.
Together, they are not confusion—they are confirmation.
Confirmation that I am stepping out of what was…
and into what will be.
A new beginning I didn’t plan—but one I now have the opportunity to embrace.
✨ Reflection
As I sat with these emotions, I realized something I hadn’t fully understood before—both grief and relief have a purpose.
Grief allows me to honor what was.
Relief gives me permission to accept what is.
And together, they gently lead me into what’s next.
For so long, I thought I had to choose one or the other—either be sad about what I’m losing or be at peace with what I’m gaining. But I’m learning that healing doesn’t always ask us to choose. Sometimes, it allows both to exist, working together in ways we don’t immediately understand.
This season has shown me that endings are not just about loss—they can also be the beginning of something new.
“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven…
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance.”
— Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4
And maybe this is that time for me—
a time where I am learning to do both.
To grieve what once was,
while also embracing the quiet relief of what no longer is.
Because in that space…
God is doing something new in me.
“Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it?”
— Isaiah 43:19
And even if I don’t fully see it yet…
I trust that this new beginning is already unfolding.
If this resonated with you, you’re not alone. Sometimes healing looks like holding two truths at once.
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