The Inner Work I Needed


I believe that in this season of my life, God wants me to focus on Him so He can show me what my focus should be. Outside of my writing, that is.

This season of my life should be solely concentrated on the inner work that I so desperately need.  

I made a promise to myself that I would start taking the time to look out for myself, my needs, and my mental health, and to rewire the way I think. Without fear. Standing up for myself and not caring what anyone would think about it. I don’t have the mental capacity for anything else that could drain or stagnate that process.

Protecting my peace has been vital, and for a while, I didn’t realize the importance of my own presence in my healing. I’ve shown up for so many people in my life, but I’m finally learning what it looks like to show up for me. To sit with myself. To ask myself the questions I’ve always avoided. To give myself the gentleness, the honesty, and the structure my soul has been craving.

And the more I slow down, the more I can hear God. Not just in the big moments, but in the quiet ones—when I’m washing dishes, when I’m journaling, when I’m simply breathing and trying to regroup. I’m realizing He isn’t just asking me to focus on Him; He’s asking me to focus on the parts of me He’s been trying to heal for years. The parts I pushed aside so I could survive. The parts I ignored so I could keep moving.

For the first time, I’m learning to identify what my soul actually needs. Not the things I thought I needed out of survival, but the things that speak to who I’m becoming. As I sat with myself, I realized I’ve always known what I didn’t want, but I never took the time to name what my spirit was actually craving.

So I started small. I began with the truths I want to build my healing on:

When I feel I need Validation, I tell myself: I know my worth.
When I feel I need Reassurance, I tell myself: I know I can.
When I feel I need Acceptance, I tell myself: I know I’m chosen.
When I feel I need Attention, I tell myself: I know my value.
When I feel I need Acknowledgment, I tell myself: I know I’m seen by God.

These aren’t just words to me. They’re reminders. They’re shifts. They’re anchors for the woman I’m growing into. They help me move with intention and stand firm in the identity God has been trying to reveal to me. And the more I speak them over myself, the more I feel something inside of me settling, strengthening, transforming.

These truths are teaching me how to show up for myself in ways I never have before. They’re helping me create boundaries that protect my peace without feeling guilty for it. I’m learning that honoring myself is not selfish—it’s necessary. It’s part of the inner work God has been calling me to do for years, the work I kept avoiding because life kept pulling me in every direction except inward.

Now, I’m choosing differently.

I’m choosing to slow down.
I’m choosing to listen to my spirit.
I’m choosing to notice what drains me and what fills me.
I’m choosing to honor the quiet nudges that tell me when something isn’t aligned.
I’m choosing to make space for healing instead of chaos.

This season of my life is teaching me that healing isn’t loud. It doesn’t always look like big breakthroughs or dramatic moments. Sometimes it’s the small things—catching myself before I spiral into old thoughts, speaking life over myself, refusing to settle for bare-minimum love, choosing peace over patterns.

And in all of it, I can feel God guiding me.
Not rushing me.
Not pressuring me.
Just gently pulling me back to myself, reminding me that I’m worth the work.

This is the season where I finally become who I was always meant to be.


-ToniRay    


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A New Beginning

Image
  I woke up this morning wondering what I could accomplish instead of always feeling unaccomplished. I started to think if starting a blog would even make a difference in my life, I didn't know where or how to begin or what even to say.   I started to second guess this "big" decision, say forget it and scroll through Youtube and watch something crime related and let the day pass, and continue on this never ending cycle of mine. So, I got up from my bed for a second, because I felt the anxiety drawing near as if I was standing in-front of an audience, and I hadn't jotted one word. I began to just say forget it, you have too many problems or issues to even start anything, and that consumes your mind right now so just lay the hell back down. Then the intrusive thoughts really started rolling in: Your unemployed, at home, in your 40s, going through perimenopause marital issues, what would you have to say to the world that can have a positive domino effect starting right n...
Read more

Nature Speaks

Image
 This morning, I literally jumped out of my sleep reminding myself that I needed to water my plants and told myself not forget. No exceptions. I know that may seem crazy, to had been my first thought —but it felt necessary , almost urgent, like my spirit knew this small act mattered more than I realized. I rushed to my office, grabbed the watering can, and began pouring life into each plant. As the water flowed, I found myself talking to them softly. I told them I loved them, that they were growing beautifully, that I was proud of them for staying alive and pushing through. It may sound funny, but it felt sacred—like a moment of connection between me, nature, and something deeper. Then I noticed something. A few of my plants had outgrown their pots. Their roots were peeking through the bottom, and the soil had hardened. I realized it was time for them to be uprooted —to be placed in new soil where they could stretch, breathe, and grow freely again. That spoke to me. Because som...
Read more

A Message That Made My Heart Smile

Image
  Today, a dear friend reached out, and her message made me grin from ear to ear. She told me how much she’s been enjoying my blog posts and asked how she could access them regularly and how often I plan to share. That simple question gave me a little sense of urgency—in the best way—because she remembered that writing has always been my dream. Just knowing she sees it, believes in it, and is genuinely excited for me filled my heart with so much joy. It’s one thing to write for yourself, but hearing that someone you love is inspired by what you’re creating? That’s a whole different kind of encouragement. As iron sharpens iron, so one friend sharpens another (Proverbs 27:17). Her message reminded me how true that is—those words gave me fresh motivation to keep following the dream that’s been on my heart for so long. Thank you to everyone reading, sharing, or just quietly cheering me on. Your support means more than you know. P.S. I love you, Dana 💕 This one’s for you. When ...
Read more