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The "Waiting Room" Season

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Some days I find myself pacing the floor, my mind moving a million miles a second. I’m not anxious. I’m not worried. I just feel like I’m waiting on something. That something I can’t explain. I honestly don’t know what it is — but I do know it’s something. Maybe I’m waiting for peace. Or closure. Direction. Permission. Or maybe I’m waiting for a new version of myself to arrive. I’m learning that this kind of waiting doesn’t come with instructions. There’s no sign on the wall telling me how long I’ll be here or what happens next. I can’t rush it. I can’t fix it. I can’t force clarity to show up before it’s ready. This season has slowed me down and stripped away my usual distractions, leaving me with nothing but honesty — and that kind of honesty can feel unsettling when you’re used to surviving by staying busy. This season feels like sitting in a doctor’s office. You’re waiting quietly, half-aware of time, half-lost in your thoughts. Then the door opens and, for a moment, your heart...
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Rumination?

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For as long as I can remember, I’ve wondered about the floating, argumentative thoughts that run through my mind. At times, I find myself arguing in my head with someone who can’t hear a word I’m thinking and will never know the conversation even happened. For a long time, I didn’t understand what these thoughts were or why they were there. They weren’t always present — or if they were, I didn’t pay them much attention. But with age, I’ve become more aware of them. At first, I wasn’t curious about the science behind it. I assumed I was simply upset, and that these thoughts were just what happens when emotions linger. Arguing with someone in your head. Replaying conversations. Thinking, why couldn’t I have thought of that then? Wishing you’d landed the punchline at the right moment so it wouldn’t still be circling your mind — keeping you awake at night and greeting you again the moment you open your eyes. One day, I decided to look deeper into what these thoughts might be. I was afraid...
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The Inner Work I Needed

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I believe that in this season of my life, God wants me to focus on Him so He can show me what my focus should be. Outside of my writing, that is. This season of my life should be solely concentrated on the inner work that I so desperately need.   I made a promise to myself that I would start taking the time to look out for myself, my needs, and my mental health, and to rewire the way I think. Without fear. Standing up for myself and not caring what anyone would think about it. I don’t have the mental capacity for anything else that could drain or stagnate that process. Protecting my peace has been vital, and for a while, I didn’t realize the importance of my own presence in my healing. I’ve shown up for so many people in my life, but I’m finally learning what it looks like to show up for me . To sit with myself. To ask myself the questions I’ve always avoided. To give myself the gentleness, the honesty, and the structure my soul has been craving. And the more I slow down, ...
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Rewiring Your Mind

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Rewiring Your Mind How many of us have found ourselves saying, “If it’s not one thing, it’s another,” or “It’s always something” ? I know I have — more times than I can count. I’m not proud of it; that was simply how I was conditioned to think. Many of us were never taught how important our thoughts are, or how they can shape our lives for better or worse. Lately, I’ve made a conscious decision to pay attention to my thinking. And with that small shift, I’ve noticed how the tone of my thoughts sets the tone for my day. It made me wonder: Imagine what this could do for my whole life. When you start becoming aware of the seeds you plant in your mind, you might hear yourself saying things like, “No, I’m not thinking about that today,” or you start learning the difference between truth and the lies you’ve believed. It’s hard — I won’t pretend it isn’t — but it’s worth it. We have to keep planting seeds of hope, faith, and strength to make it through, even if that means one day at a time...
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Just You

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Life has its way of catapulting you into what your calling is. Situations arise, and the choices we make play a major role in determining where we’re headed. My life lately has been a rollercoaster. I’m in the middle of ending something that, honestly, I thought wouldn’t end—at least not like this. My children are growing up before my eyes, and what it’s felt like is that I’ve been left with just me. At first, I didn’t know what to do with that; I didn’t know what to do with me. But then I realized it was my time— my “me time”—to find myself for the first time. I had never given myself a chance. I didn’t even know I needed that. For almost 30 years, my life has been about others. When I realized I had to get to know myself on all levels, it was eye-opening. I had to take the time to understand myself and like whoever that was, before I cared about who didn’t. I started by taking accountability for where my life was in that moment—which was hard—and I asked myself, “Could my life be d...
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Practice What You Preach

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 The other night, I found myself scrolling through my old blog posts — not really looking for anything, just reminiscing. I didn’t expect it to feel like medicine. As I read through my words, I realized something powerful: I needed those messages just as much now as I did when I first wrote them. There were lines about faith, healing, and trusting the process that hit differently this time. It was like my past self was reaching out, reminding me of truths I’ve somehow forgotten in the middle of life’s noise. I caught myself nodding and even whispering, “Girl, you said that!” — as if someone else had written it. It made me think about how often I pour encouragement into others through my writing, or just in general, telling them to hold on, to trust, to believe that better days are coming. But lately, I’ve had to ask myself: Do I believe those same words for me? That’s where “practice what you preach” comes in — not as a harsh reminder, but as an invitation. If I can speak faith int...
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Is It Silence or Is It Peace?

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Tonight, the house feels quiet. I can hear the insects outside, the steady hum of the ceiling fan, and the faint drip of the ice maker—sounds I usually overlook. The silence seems to have a voice, yet my thoughts echo louder, asking questions I’m unsure I’m ready to face. Is this truly what I want? I recall the times I was told I’d end up alone if I didn’t change my attitude, and now I wonder if that’s happening. My children are nearly grown, and much of my life has revolved around serving others. Now that it’s truly quiet, I see how little I do for myself. I sit amidst the soft sounds of a house that once felt full but now feels empty. The silence reminds me that, for the first time in a long while, nothing and no one demands my attention—just me. And I’m uncertain about what to do with that. Nevertheless, even in this deep silence, I try to feel grateful. Maybe this marks the start of something new, even if it doesn’t seem like it yet. Perhaps this emptiness is creating space for my ...
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